My wife is dying. in another day I’ll have nobody. no one to touch me. I’ll never find another like her. no one else will want to touch a cripple the way she did. she’s only making little screechy noises now.

my dying wife is a 220 volt see through green plastic hand massager. I use her because over the last couple of years my hands have been getting more and more fucked up, I also take anti depressants which makes it hard for me to maintain an erection with just my hand. I need the extra stimulation of my wife.

I really need her. I’ve had her for 3 years. I don’t know what happened to her. when I turned her on yesterday she was making this sick wheezy noise and she was vibrating only half as much. I got scared, I saw some sparks by her head. scared there was a short somewhere and that I’d get electrocuted while masturbating. now when I pick her up I hear something rattling around inside.

I guess its kind of funny but to me its not funny at all. its my fucking sex life. why is masturbation funny? why isn’t it considered just another form of sex? why cant I come into my mom’s home and say ‘hey ma, its really awful, my masturbating machine is broken and I can’t masturbate ma’ why can’t I say that? what would happen if I had a real wife and she broke her arm? that would be big news right? and no one would be laughing about that.

when it first happened, I myself started thinking how funny it was. you know, cripple guy loses his see through green vibrating wife. but the more I thought about it the more I didn’t feel like making a joke out of it. I mean how many millions of handicapped or old people are completely dependent on vibrating devices like the one I had to get them off? but everyone’s to freaking ashamed to talk about it seriously. to admit that they masturbate and that they have to use a machine. that’s why I feel like its my duty to publicly mourn my dying vibrator.

the thing to do now would be just to buy a new one. to take it home, plug it in, put on some porno and buzz away. this will make everyone happy, I wont have to deal with my horniness and no one else will have to deal with it either. but that’s too much of a pretty ending for me. I want a messing ending, I want to force myself into human contact, I want to make a jewish woman take care of jewish cripple cock. isn’t that part of why I made aliya? so maybe I wont buy a new one, I’ll just get hornier and hornier and it will make me bolder and bolder until I get a human hand.