Gandhi Bought A Dildo Here

In the window of the sex shop
I saw a sign
It said “make love not war”
This made a lot of sense to me
So I went in and bought a copy
Of Real Female Masturbation #22
Got home and made love
All over myself
Kept my B-52 in the garage
Unloaded its two nuclear warheads
Sparing Tehran and east 45th street



There are these gorgeous strawberries
Everywhere I go
In buses, shopping malls, overhanging
The mens’ section in shul
They all look impossibly good even
The bruised ones and I am dying
To eat one and have been
Since I was 14 when I began realizing
Just how beautiful strawberries are
But the problem is you can’t
Just go over to one
Pick it up
And begin to start biting it
You must first start talking to it
Get to know it
Buying it a steak dinner
Then maybe you can begin touching it
But maybe not even then
Because not only do you have to want
To eat the strawberry
But let’s not forget
That the chosen strawberry
Also has to want you to
Eat  it
And if you never find one
That wants you as much
As  you want it
You could die without having
Ever tasted one
A really beautiful strawberry
Feet away in a plate
You reach out
You die

Home Run

Have a special hole
That’s made for a penis
You have to buy flowers
And string together the right
Sequence of consonants and vowels
To put yours inside

Nobel Whore

One year
Why don’t they give a Nobel peace prize
To some saintly whore
Who silently and sweetly sucks
And fucks hundreds of men
Year after year and puts her whole
Self into every blow job
Who makes every john
Forget that they are a fat and ugly
John and for a second think that
A young attractive woman actually
Wants them
Then our heroine can take the million
Open up a bookstore for mystical texts