Jew Poems

Peace in the Middle East

Every morning
I greet Boogie
The Arab cook in my café
“Good morning Arab
Your sister’s a cunt”
He answers
“Good morning Jew
Your mother’s a whore”
After this I know
Everything is right in the world
I order shakshuka
The handle of the pan
Burns like hell


Because I’m not being stuck
On a train heading to Treblinka
Because I’m not being stuffed
Into the oven at Birkenau
I can go to the shuk
And buy five thick-skinned oranges
And the guy with the kippa
Can screw me out of 12 shekels
Who says moshiach isn’t here


It hurts
To be a Jew
Even with
Everything bagels
And Nova Scotia

Bracing for the Showers

I always feel like it’s late August 1939
Germany is about to gobble up Poland
Einstein has an atom bomb in his head
My arm two years away from getting numbered
In preparation, I prepare my shower kit
Scream, Shema Yisrael

Expect Auschwitz

Anything more than that
Is an accidental pleasure
Piece of potato
In grey soup waters

Moses Strikes Out

My name is Moses
I wondered in the desert 40 years
I won’t enter
The promised land
I die

What I did on my Yom Kippur

Eat treif  sausage pizza
Clogged-up my Jewish heart
Prayed in shitty underwear
Asked for no forgiveness
Waited for dark