Palsy Poems

Animal looking for home

170 pound semi-neutered
45 y.o mongrel. Spastic jew
Toilet-trained with basic
Good temperament except for occasional bouts
Of venomous outbreaks
Is able to walk on hind legs
For short spurts


The neurologist told me
I had cp, the serious kind
I said, thanks so much
For the compliment
She giggled and said
You are most welcome

My parents

Took my palsy
Not too good
Sought desperately
Post-natal vacuum

My shower

As my helper
Cleans my balls
I dream about
A better future


They say that when one door closes
Another door opens up
But people fail to mention
That sometimes the open door
Can be located on the 5th floor
Of a walk-up with no elevator
And if you happen to be a cripple in a wheelchair
Who is also too lazy to make the crawl up
You sit on your ass, wait, pray
For some godly 9.3 seismic event
To level the entire goddamned storied playing field


I don’t think
That I got it
Til I see another
Guy whose got it
Just like me then
It hits me
I know
I got it